Santa’s Whiskers

Not Your Normal NOG

Anybody can do an eggnog for the holidays, especially since for most people that’s merely pouring a shot of hearty hooch into something store-bought. But for this holiday season, let’s have some fun resurrecting an old classic, a milk punch, and give it a local spin. Say hello to the Santa’s Whiskers Cocktail. That’s a dyslexic joke on the mostly forgotten Satan’s Whiskers (which even comes two ways, straight or curled). But given the frothy milky texture of this delight, if Santa drank one, no doubt it would leave his ’stache looking lost in snow.

You can look all the way back to Professor Jerry Thomas and the 1860s for the first appearance of a milk punch in a cocktail book, and given he wrote the first one, that means the drink’s got some provenance. Of course, as with 90% of cocktails, it has roots in New Orleans, back when its core liquor was brandy thanks to Louisiana’s French influence, and some still recommend making it that way. That’s particularly true if you want a morning version of the drink. (Drinking has very crucial time codes in the Big Easy. Which is how they stay so easy.)

But eventually bourbon became the base of choice, helping amp up the drink with even more vanilla and oak notes. If you don’t like vanilla, this isn’t the drink for you, especially the version I’ve concocted.

For beyond the bourbon, you add actual vanilla extract, which sort of does magic with the milk. In some ways you could consider this a very adult milk shake. It gets a push of sweetness from some agave nectar, too. More traditional recipes suggest simple syrup, but agave seems a bit more regional if not actually local and it saves you from having to whip up simple syrup. Note: If you decide you prefer simple syrup, agave is actually sweeter than sugar, so the recipe’s ratios reflect that.

The real kicker for Santa’s Whiskers is a spiced rum and not the more traditional dark rum. When in doubt, the more flavor the more better. Plus spiced rum is having its craft distiller moment, so we might as well take advantage. For instance the Bettie Page Rum that’s recommended was developed by Michael Cobb, the man behind the High Roller Tiki Lounge in Solvang and a lover of vintage kitsch. Working with CMG, the company that holds the Bettie Page trademark, Cobb crafted this rum rich with complex caramel notes of burnt sugar and even more spicy depths, especially clove and cinnamon. Then there’s even an organic spiced rum from Humboldt Distillery, if you care to wander farther up the California coast.

And to keep it even more local, try to use Cutler’s Artisan Spirits 33 Bourbon. Something so smooth is essential for this mix, and you certainly wouldn’t want to go with something high proof. Top it out at about 90. You don’t want a drink that could catch aflame if it got too close to a holiday candle.

There are some tricks during and after the actual mixing you need to be aware of. Luckily this isn’t like an egg white drink, which could make your shaker want to push open with pressure. So you do want to give it a longer shake than you might usually, closer to 30 seconds. That will ensure everything is happily comingled and give the drink a frothy texture that’s sure to please. Then also remember to get that cocktail shaker rinsed out immediately. You don’t want any milky residue getting into that martini you whip up next. Gross.

Since you’ve shaken the drink to a serious chill, the glass doesn’t need any ice even though it’s a rocks glass. But it does need a quick snow of freshly grated nutmeg that entices the nose and foreshadows all that rich spiciness waiting to hit in the rum and whiskey